Flying Free

May 29, 2013

Breath and in comes the sweet smell of grain of horses, sweat and distant rain Touch takes over the sence of sight letting me feel the horse under me fidget and excite We stand still and steady as a tree I as the commander and the horse a tornado begging to be let free As my eyes fly open the beast beneath me stirs and awakens and our steady stillness is broken The only way to describe it is that we fly just my horse and me going as fast as fast should be faster than the lightning that strikes across the sky

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Comments (2)

stewarttristanAug 1, 2013

<p>Thank you soo much for telling me what you thought on my poem. I've been in creative writing before but I'm the kind of person that really doesn't like to write even though my teacher always loved what I wrote, even though I thought she was just saying it to be nice. I would be so happy if you could possibly read two other poems that I posted. They are called "The price of beauty" and "The way I wear you like a bruise". I would love to hear what you have to say about them and if you have any more pointers. Thanks so much</p>

thisispoetryprojectJun 19, 2013

Hey stewarttristan! The description in your poem is amazing. You're really painting a picture for the reader and this poem came alive in my mind’s eye when I read it! Keep working on this strength of yours and push yourself beyond your limits. My biggest piece of advice to you is to tell a story in your poems. I really felt as if this poem was a spectacular introductory paragraph to an even better essay and was eager to continue reading the rest of the story! Some questions you might consider answering in this poem are: What are you and your horse doing? Where are you going? Why did you decide to ride your horse in the first place? Overall, this is an amazing poem that I would have LOVED to continue reading to the end of its story! Don't be rushed to end the poem. Let the words flow from your heart and it will end itself!