Fog

The story you wish you could tell
But only really remember how it ends 
Or the names of the people 
There's no way you'd ever forget.
They became pronouns,
Printed pictures that never fit the frames.
Collecting dust somewhere else 
And I threw those places away.
My words to be remembered 
Didn't sound like me. 
I tried them on. They didn't fit.
I miss my memories.
Now I'm crawling in nostalgia 
I can't seem to breathe.
The heater carried every cigarette upstairs from the basement 
But it was all right, I hated the taste then.
Even when the powers out, the house was bright
I longed for the darkness but now I function best in light 
And I do miss the questions I asked
Although they were never answered properly 
How could you know you're wrong without first trying? 
But my mistakes were my trademarks. 
They were on my fridge, 
Hanging reminders that regrets
Are just problems grown up.
But I really love where I'm stuck, 
Relying on my senses. 
The smell my first love had.
I wonder if he ever changed it.
Or my old house's taste
Of 'fend for yourself'
The dreams I created color
And how many lines it took 
To write about giving up.
Separation feels so rough,
It scratches my fingertips. 
Like the way most things leave 
Without you noticing it. 
The view blinds me 
Of what I never thought as memories 
But I'm flexible in my recollections 
Everything is foggy.
That's how I remember it.
The waters so heavy.
I'm drowning in nostalgia,
Hardly holding my weight.
I don't want to miss these things
That I have trouble trying to explain.

(https://soundcloud.com/jennsarf/fog)