Foolish times

"Foolish Time" The time that I have waisted is my biggest regret, spent in those places I will never forget. Just sitting and thinking about the things that I've done, the crying the laughing the hurt and the fun. Now its just me and my hard driven guilt, behind a wall of emptiness I allowed to be built. I'm trapped in my body just wanting to run, back to my childhood with its laughter and fun. But the chase is over and theres no place to hide, seems everything is gone including my pride. With reality suddenly right in my face, I'm angry and broken it was one hell of a race. Now memories of the past flash through my head, and the pain is obvious from the tears that I've shed. I ask myself why and where I went wrong, I guess I was week when I should have been strong. Living for the moment and the way I had grown, my feelings were lost and afraid to be shown. As I look at my past its so easy to see, the fear that I had afraid to be me. I pretended to be rugged so slick and so cool, when actually I was lost like a blinded old fool. I'm getting to old to play this stupid game, of acting like a child with no sense and no gain. Its time I changed and got on with my life, the way that I'm living cuts like a knife. What the future holds I really don't know, but the years that I;ve waisted are starting to show. I just live for the day when I'll get that new start, to be with my children there so deep in my heart. I'm sure I can make it I'll atleast have to try, cause I'm headed for death and I don't want to die! Mike Ronk Marana 2014