fool's gold

why are you punishing me for not trying

for finally giving up the charade

when i was the only one playing the game anymore

you left me

and now, you lie to me

you try to make me feel bad for you, to pity your plight

when all you do is dig your own grave

you make horrible decisions

you surround yourself with people who’d raze you instead of raise you

i used to put you on a pedestal

you were my golden standard

i fed into the narcissistic spring that now ebbs and flows with every breath you take

you ask us if you’re a good person

and i want to say no

he tells me to say yes

i lie through my teeth

i sink to my knees

shake my fists at the sky, cry to an unforgiving god

and wonder why i went mining for gold

when silver shines best in darkness