Forget it

Sometimes I wish you knew I cared,
but you were running scared,
and so was I, it was such a lie.
It hurt me, but you don't get it,
ya know? Just forget it.
You see, I'm at war with myself,
and you're no longer involved.
I wish this was a problem solved,
but I'm getting shot in the heart,
everything, it's going dark,
these feelings are tearing me apart,
ya know? I wish I could restart,
but this isn't fucking Call of Duty, though I wish,
because then I could stop it from ending like this.
Now I'll keep pretending,
that it doesn't feel like my world is ending,
like some apocalypse that I set off,
this is cause and effect,
your cause was direct, and now I'm living dead.
Sometimes I wish I thought you cared,
but the feeling isn't there, numb,
we lock eyes and stare,
as if we could call it fair.
It's over,
you're the one who read it,
neither of us have said it,
but you just don't get it,
so just forget it.

Now I'm dreaming, now I'm pleading,
It's a fantasy, but fuck it,
reality never lives up, now does it?
I'm dreaming, just dreaming, so check it,
maybe, just maybe, someday you'll wreck it.

Say you ever tried to come back, I think I would attack,
like,
"Get your hands off me, just back off me"
like,
"I can hold myself, I don't need no one else."

Now, when the guard on your heart drops like then,
I'll shoot it again and again and again,
and be like remember when?
Yeah, remember when...
...I poured my heart out for you, I faced my fears for you,
I wrote this and that,
always having these heart attacks,
for you,
but all I wanted was to get you back,
and now,
I'm sorry for that,
but when I see how you give him more attention then you ever gave me
it makes me wonder why you ain't calling him baby
Exactly, I understand, completely, I'm just crazy

And funny enough, I guess I lied,
cause I'd still love to see you smile.
it's been quite a ride,
but I don't think you'll ever see my side,
like how part of me died,
and how torn I am inside,
but I know everything will be alright,
yeah, that's right, I just might.

I wish I had some more to say,
like how me and you could be okay,
maybe someday, but not today,
cause you still don't get it
but because I don't regret it,
I just can't,
I can't just forget it.

Wow, I guess I still care,
but you're not there.
This pain is almost too much to bare.
The fact being that my dreams are all I care
for,
and the fact that I care about you,
you must be one of my dreams too.

Now, to all you watching and dissin',
you gotta open your ears and listen,
your hearts must be cold and missin'
cause my clock has sped up it's tickin'

and now I'm on the brink,
puking up blood down the kitchen sink,
you must see by now I'm bleeding ink,
and I'm dying man.
I'm crying bad.
But....soldiers don't cry,
and we try to stay alive,
but sometimes life just drags us by.

I'm sorry I lie, I'm no soldier,
that dream was stole from me at birth,
I gotta come back down to earth,
and try to find what I'm worth....
but it's probably not too much,
'cause I'm easily crushed
and I always give up.
I can't say I got it rough,
I mean,
I got my mom, and she ain't talking 'bout
how my dad ain't walking out.
And yeah, we got a home, a pretty little home
where I'm never alone, but I'm chilled to the bone
knowing how my hearts a stone,
'cause when I'm in the zone, I gotta be on my own,
fearing one day I'll pick up the phone
dialing 9-1-1
saying,
"Damn mister I just killed someone"
and who knows, maybe I won't make that call,
because after all,
it might be me
lying in a pool of Holy ecstasy.

Haha yeah, you can call me crazy,
I guess it's better then baby
and hey, maybe one day, we'll set this straight,
'cause it's never too late,
but even if I said it, you wouldn't get it,
maybe your like me and you can't forget it,
maybe you're like me and want me where you're headed.
Though I doubt it,
I know how cold I must be soundin',
but I loved you far more then you know,
way too much to let go,
and now I'm tripping over thoughts,
contemplating my faults,
wondering what went wrong, why I wasn't strong.

So now it's on you, can ya tell me?
Was it "Heaven's you and Hell's me?
Was it "My friend's too cool" dispells me?
Still....I don't feel it's that,
I forgive you, I just want you back,
I'm wishing I could get back on track,
that kiss, if I knew was our last,
I would've made it last, but everything changed so fast,
and now it's in the past...

I guess I'm still dreaming about you not leaving,
I hear you still breathing, you're heart still beating.

I hold on to the moments, wishin' I was in'em.
wishin' I could win'em, like a second try,
now or never, do or die....
but I know I won't get it, you know you won't let it,
so just forget it.