Forgive and Not Forget

I can forgive and not forget. My heart still remembers the crack under the pressure of a life. My eyes still remember the sting of flowing tears. My hands still remember the marks made by my nails to restrain reality. My arms still remember the chills ushered by helplessness. My head still remembers the pounding of words trying to escape. My scars still remember the accusations that cut so deeply. I will not forget. I can say that what you did was wrong, and I will. It was wrong. You are wrong about me. Strength is NOT giving up everything so you can hurt me again. Strength is NOT giving in to what you say. Strength is NOT making the changes you demand. Strength is NOT going through this cycle again. Strength is breaking the cycle. Strength is walking away. Strength is putting the past in the past and making sure it doesn't become the future. Strength is drawing a new line and enforcing it. I am strong. Forgiveness is NOT coming back. Forgiveness is NOT falling down so you can walk over me. Forgiveness is NOT eating your lies and thanking you for it. Forgiveness is being thankful that now I know. Forgiveness is gratitude for the light at the end of the tunnel. Forgiveness is dropping the rocks you threw at me. Forgiveness is refusing to throw them back. Forgiveness is acknowledging it's out of my hands. I will forgive. I will NOT come running back. I will NOT join the vicious cycle. I will NOT do what you say. I will NOT do what you want. I will NOT soften the facts. I will not hide from the story. I will NOT stoop to your level. I will stay behind my line. I will start a new cycle, without you. I will abandon and bitterness. I will move forward. I will protect anyone you target. I will stop at nothing to keep you from hurting others again. I will keep my shield up so you can't get to me. I will forgive. I will not forget.