From swing sets and slides
To broken hearts and teary eyes
From riding bikes and wishing we were older
To realising it’s not as warm as we think
It’s colder.
When my parents first split
I blamed myself as if I could control others actions
I was just a kid but blaming my myself became a habit
Through elementary and middle school I remember
The first time I ever wished that I wasn’t here.
I lost most of my childhood and teen years to
Mental illness
To self harm
To starving myself
Missed out on things i can never get back
But oh I wish I could give myself some slack
I sometimes wish I hadn’t fallen
A victim to my own mind
I can think back on my hospital stays
And how i wanted to change
I worked hard to get where I am
I used to think I wouldn’t make it to my 18th birthday
People sometimes take for granted
What it feels like to know you're secure
To know that you're wanted
But growing up meant realising
It’s not all bad and
I can’t change the past
It’s about forgiveness
Even if that means forgiving
Myself