Fouled-Up Feminism

Men-haters of the world:

LISTEN.

Extreme feminism is anarchy.

Observe the concealed secret,

why women say they don’t want to get married:

(they’re lesbians)

— or —

because they’ve been wronged by men,

it’s better to say, “I do not want to get married”

than to say, “I want to get married”

and it never happen—

why?

because

women don’t want to seem weaker than men

and a synonym for “better” and an antonym for “weaker”

is “stronger”

ergo, women are stronger than men.

Theoretically.

Nevertheless, radical feminists: you are not as strong as you think!

Men and women are not equal!

I represent women,

but I resent women,

Women belittle men,

and

as soon as men belittle women,

all men are immediately chauvinists.

Women are the reason that women are treated badly by men.

“I want flowers.”

“Don’t buy me flowers, they’re demeaning.”

“He didn’t even pay for my dinner.”

“I have a job, why would you pay for my coffee?”

“Is he ever going to ask me out?”

“I’m not going to wait around, I’ll ask him out. Or I’ll move on.”

“He couldn’t even hold the door open for me.”

“Why are you waiting for me to walk through the door?”

Men are confused:

they’re bound to offend someone,

step on toes,

insult unintentionally,

and destroy any chance with a beautiful woman—

because she’s scary.

So, bitter, scarred, and resentful women,

Rejoice!

Because men are just as bitter, scarred, and resentful

But, men and women are not equal

and they never will be. 

Justification #1

TESTOSTERONE

Justification #2

PREGNANCY

Justification #3

WARTIME DRAFT                 

Justification #4

MENOPAUSE

Justification #5

DIFFERENT GENITALIA

Neither gender is better

Neither gender is worse

So women,

STOP HATING

because you’re hypocritical

and

you’re the bane of men

and

you’re going to live a lonely life,

so unite and align,

because believe it or not,

the world needs both sexes.