Found Myself (Response to Finding Herself)

Left to the darkness of the mirror

it is supposed to reflect my inner light,

But all I can see is my sad self, glinting back at me.

And you, your love stand there prodding me on, forward.

I grip your hand, and trust your words that I will find myself.

I step into the world flinching at the things people say.

I'm too fat or too thin.

I'm too ugly, not pretty enough to be on a Victoria's Secret ad,

I can sing like a canary, but dress like a boy,

So no one thinks I'm important.

Because beauty is right and knowledge is wrong,

I must live by this decree.

It feels so wrong, so wrong to me.

Yet I hold the words to my chest following them to the letter,

And dying inside, losing feathers.

Canaries dont fly when they are nearly dead,

When they lose their voices to sing.

I must scrape the night air searching,

And hunting for me.

I do... I dig so hard within myself,

My nails are bloody and smeared.

But the joy is real, so light.

I found my voice, my tone of love.

When I'm convinced my beauty is real.