Foundations

The future is a flower

not a dying dandelion or a wild plant that sprouts in bursts

but a rose

a morning blossom

a carnation

a singular miracle in a field of ashes and dust

the sight of which captivates

distracts -

the future is the roots of the flower

spreading beneath detection

reaching through the dust

leaving tiny cuts on shins

and pinholes in feet.

And one may reach the flower

broken and battered

tired and trembling

only to look behind and realize

the path was there, just out of view

of rich grass and flowing water

that they may have used

if they'd only looked before they'd leaped.

If they'd planned.

If they'd had a dream of what it would be like

to choose a route

and reach their destination unscathed.

I will not be they.

i dream of life

of the time after the right now time

because this is not life

of paving my own way, a different way

where a house is a home and second best is not my best

and sleep comes easy.

i wish you could hear yourself

screaming blaming shouting

gnawing away at the ties you formed

when we were young, and life was simple

i will not be you.

I dream of someday

but you don't.

How can you say your future is not yours

it's not mine to steal to plan to set in motion

when your strength is motivation your excellence pride your desires tasks your dreams reality

I'd travel to the edge of the galaxy and back if it meant

you wouldn't hold out hope for another

for I'm yours to take this ache inside lit a fire beneath my feet

and someday dreams will only mean an idle mind

and not a burning heart a churning id

I need my hopes my plans my wishes my dreams my goals

to tell me someday you'll be gone

and I'll be gone

and hopefully

with you.

i dream of peace

silence security clarity warmth

and you're not proud of me but here watch

you set me off im proud to say i finally told you

despite your spite denial im getting away

you were wrong

WRONG

no you were wrong

no one is always right especially not you

with your selfish pride ego complex controlling corrupt

ideas of family

like father like son

i said it

not afraid had enough leaving soon

control that i say

without my fight despite your conceptions the rejections would have put me at your feet

but i dreamt of a time after the right now time

and soon it will be mine

and i will be his

and you will be neither.

Life moves on

without regard to trade or barter or bargain

to fairness or whims.

So i guess i have to thank you

for the blood sweat and tears you gave me

for i took them and let them eat me until the pillars of evil crumbled

and molded the dust into beauty.

And though this conventional interaction is unconventional in every way

and you gave me just enough hope to stay standing

when you chip some away

what is not past will be

the fear and uncertainty

of a life not yet lived

will dissolve with age.

And this is what I live for. The dream of what will be past. For it is better than what is already past.

The scars and lies and voices loud, the lessons learned lovers lost limbs lit afire

2.0.1 is coming, and it's one update I'll have

before the dialogue box appears.

It will not remind me later.

The future is now.

And I have lived for it

all my life.