"Fourteen"

“Fourteen” by Alliyah Fabijan

I am   

          14     14           14                    

          14     14           14

          14     14 14 14 14

          14                    14

          14                    14

          14                    14 .

It is too late to turn back,

take the pain. Wash it away with a dream of ominous black.

Will I ever see the light? Falling deeper.

Father, do you forgive me? A silent sinner.

“Trust me”, he said. “No”, I said. Arms clenched tight.

My body too restricted, I lay in anguish of my plight.

Still in my bed, alone at last. This is my room, I can see

but as I turn to my mirror… Why can’t I see me?

Awaken I have, may light of day heal me. Abandoned.

Torn flesh between my legs, I do not weep

I pray unto thee. Give me strength for I have sinned. Only silence and not a peep.

Naked I lay. May the shadows of shames

course through my veins.

Human no more, a stone shall I be.

Desperately I plead, search for someone to help me

A listener they may stay, even more alone. I am a mess.

Still a young girl, no more no less.

Lucifer’s burns still scar the apples of my cheeks.

Juxtapositions of the life I could have led.

A statistic is the short story I have lived.

Even in a poem, I can’t express the suffering I have felt.

Why couldn’t you have been given the card I was dealt?

Today is no different; however, I am seventeen

Now, in relationship that has no trust. He feels it isn’t his place to intervene.

Do you hear me now?

No, sympathy will only be loaned somehow.

A wasted corps, I will continue to fray

Because three years ago he took it all away.

Father is still angry. A sinner I will remain forever,

I have hit rock bottom, despite my endeavor.

I was only 

                  14     14           14

                  14     14           14

                  14     14 14 14 14

                  14                    14

                  14                    14

                  14                    14 .