Free trial of happiness

I’m starting to think 

my happiness trial has expired. 

Im numb all the time 

when did I get so tired? 

Why does it never stop? 

When did the nightmares come back? 

Why do I always feel like crying? 

When did I stop trying?

Why am I feeling so empty inside? 

When did I get used to it? 

I don’t want to wake up anymore. 

When did everything go to shit? 

Why do I work so hard? What am I working for?

Im tired of being broke all the time, financially, emotionally, spiritually. 

I don’t know how much more of this life I can take. 

I sometimes hope to sleep and never wake. 

 I’m tired of fighting.

 I’m tired of living.

I’m tired of people taking.

I’m tired of giving. 

I think my happiness trial has expired 

but I can’t afford the subscription. 

I guess I’ll have to keep living 

by other people’s permission.