Freedom

How many times have I prayed Asking for this torture to be taken away I am so tired of fighting with this Where are you God? Do you even exist? Is it me or something else That brings these doubts and thoughts from hell I’m not sure what to believe Just let it go or am I being deceived? It’s like a switch that gets turned on and off I’m feeling fine then a thought shows up Is that me or a fear of what I could be? Why does it have such power over me? Fifty years of silent battles Different fears that have left me shackled One is gone, but a new one stronger How much more, how much longer? Do not feed them, do not argue they say It’s just a thought, it will pass away But the alarm screams to figure it out I must check and follow that doubt. Round and round the battle ensues Did I? Didn’t I? What is the truth? Am I that person the accuser declares? Or am I caught in a game of despair? So much time I’ve wasted on this So much of life living in an abyss All in my head where no one can see The battle I live with is called OCD How do I win? What can I do? When OCD has such a stronghold on you? It uses your mind to make you unsure It makes you think you're completely impure. Starve it! Starve it! That’s what they say. Do not feed it by playing its game. Do not argue or try to figure it out Where did it come from or what it’s about. When you have done this and trust in God’s love You will begin to break down all of these walls. Light will break through the darkness of night Truth will bring freedom and freedom brings life.