A Friend

A friend,

listens to you.

A friend,

supports you.

A friend,

will always be there for you.

Maybe change yourself

she said.

You’re single because you’re rude

she said. 

I’m your only friend

because you’re a terrible person

she said.

I only make you upset because it’s funny,

she said.

Nobody likes you,

she said. 

She was my best friend.

The best thing to ever happen to me.

She laughed when I cried to her.

She supported me when I changed to be like her.

She was always there

Watching me.

Just like a best friend.

I laughed at myself.

For all the insecurities she created.

Others stared at me awkwardly

as I continued to belittle myself

at what she said.

But,

it was okay,

because

she was my definition of a friend. 

For 16 years,

I’ve brainwashed myself to be like her.

I changed my outfits.

I changed my personality.

To be like her was my way to be her friend.

I would tell myself,

“She’s my friend. She’s my friend.”

An endless loop of denial and frustration.

Was I depressed?

Was I alright?

Yes,

because I had my best friend.

And that’s all I needed.

“No,”

someone exclaimed.

“That is not a friend,”

Another one yelled.

At that moment,

I froze.

Something went off.

I bursted out crying.

The brainwashing and confusion

trapped my mind into a prison.

I was numb.

I was a mindless minion for her.

A toy for self-gratification.

I didn’t realize the many people

who tried to save me

from her. 

To make me realize what a friend truly is.

They help you through tough times.

They embrace your quirks.

They stand by you instead of watching.

They are there for you because

you are their friend. 

So yes.

A friend,

listens to you.

A friend,

supports you.

A friend,

will always be there for you.

But,

a friend makes you happy.

That is something

I have learned 

and 

will never forget.