Friend Crisis

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Ashley Munene

      Friend Crisis

       A dilemma I am facing is not doing the right thing because you know it will affect people, things around you, or yourself . You get angry having to face this problem every time but you feel you can’t run because your emotions get in the way. It all begins my junior year first semester. I meet her for the first time thinking I meet the one. The friend that will always have my back through it all. When really, she just helped me see things with a different mindset and focus on myself.

 As the blood flows through swiftly, we tell each other everything; all our personal stuff. She told me the craziest things about this guy that mistreats not only her but other girls. I keep coming face to face with this friend. I always want to help as if it is my problem and I start to stress over the wrong things. She is sucking me into her drama, having my nerves connect to the adrenal glands. She calls me crying or yelling about people hurting her in her relationships or family. I texted her phone, thinking she had it, but this guy had it. He threatened me, and all she had to tell me is “it is my problem”. That was the trigger.

      The release of the adrenaline goes, my levels start to increase drastically. I tell her what to do to fix it but she decides to do the opposite. She either runs to the wrong thing after telling her not

to, so then I have to listen again to her problem that would have never came if she had listened. So as time goes on she loses more friends and people start to talk bad about her. She tells me every time she only has two best friends me and another girl but the other girl is more distant. Then I start to grow this agony of pain for her. Which changes my mood that

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everybody know is happiness and laughter, but when she puts you in this spell it just makes you stressed and tired of the things around you, has your heart racing.

    Stressing over what could happen she controls my body as a time goes on.  She called me one day, I was thinking she wanted to talk but instead the guy got injured. She was crying and screaming on the phone. I told her she could sleep and stay at my house because she did not want to go home to her mom who was against this guy. My family was not for my idea of having her over with all this chaos. So I begged, now realizing that I was fighting for her more then she was.

   My body responds in many ways tears, anger, and anxiety. You want to run away but you can’t because she relies on you and all you want to do is help but she doesn’t listen. So then you need to comfort her, and she gets better but then goes to do the wrong thing again. The problem here is that I want to run from this, but I am all she’s got. If I go then she is alone and will do who knows what. So do I stay and let sadness take over me or run and be happy but let my friend suffer. I always want to see people with smiles and joy inside of them. I walk around trying to make people’s day but that won’t happen if I am friends with this person. Everyone tells you to get away from her because how much it is hurting me. I want to listen but I also want to help. People say “not everything is about you” ,but I feel like most things should be about you because if you worry about others you don’t have time to help yourself.  I wish I would have realized at an earlier time who is really there and supportive of me.