Frigid

your love doled out in immeasurably small bits.

You gave me just enough that I wouldn’t fall apart.

but not enough to make me stop calling quits.

Your love was sweeter than any earthly nectar,

and I watched as you gave it out to everyone but me.

you became a source of sadness, a bitter vector,

I call out, only hoping that you would pretend to see.

I act oblivious, like your sideways looks don’t sting.

As if your cruel words and empty love don’t burn.

But on the inside, to hope my soul doth cling,

only so you can once again me spurn.

You are my father, a man I am supposed to love.

So, your flame I do feed with every ounce I have left,

but your love is not for me, it is something I am unworthy of.

Still, you take my tenderness and compassion, a petty theft.

You leave me empty, drained of all but sorrow.

My soul lies abed; trembling, hungry, and cold,

and all I can hope for is a joyous tomorrow.

But when the sun rises, nothing new to behold.

You toy with my mind. You say I am to blame.

You string me along, in your crosshairs I sit.

To you I am a pawn in you demonic game,

by your standards I am little more than unfit.

I am ugly, I am fat, I am lazy, a genetic glitch.

You tell me my worth and to how little I will amount.

and now the mirrors do agree, by my mind bewitched.

your words soak in, and them I cannot surmount.

Yet, I tell no one, for my lips you have sealed.

I have battered bruised insides, acidic and vile.

no marks on the outside, your secret concealed.

despite internal bleeding, I wear only a smile.