Frustration.

I know no other feeling, i've experienced it deeply all my life.

Seeing the baby deer lost on David Attenborough is something I can easily 

empathise with.

Frozen, petrified and all alone in the urban jungle are the traits i've become

accustomed too. 

There is a barrier all around me, I feelt it,  yet unable to see it. I 

experience, it yet can't remove it from my terrified soul.

This island that is as huge as Oz is crushed to fit inside my bosom.

There are great distances and mountainous regions to cross.

Then the parched dessert that is surely to suck the marrow of life

out of me. 

How can I cross this chasm to fill oneness once more, maybe 

it just a dream. 

I'm not sure I have the strength to face this perilous jounrey yet

I know I can't go back and surely can't stand in this chaos that

has become an every day occurence. 

The optimism I once embraced has been sucked out of me 

with this shit thing could life.

Despite my deep melancholy I neither have the courage or 

tenacity for a quick exit. 

I have been on my knees begging for strength many times

alas to no avail.

Somehow I have to scrape the pit of my being,

to gather the resolve,

to shatter this cage and live a full life.

Only time has taught me this is a hamster's wheel, Einstein's

definition of madness.

I go insane with frustration knowing

that I want to break free yet feel shackled by moments of the past.

I see symbols of greatness like Muhammed Ali, and the brains

of Musk and wish that was my effigy.