Full Circle

A ring, closed off to me

I never realized it until now

my... my friends?

pushing me out

or maybe I was never really in

My mind races back

back to the jokes

did they ever laugh as hard as me?

back to the grins

were they simply grimaces in disguise?

back to the good times

or were they simply OK times?

In kindergarten, everyone played with anyone

everyone was normal, carefree

in adulthood, I never know

I never know who is really who

I never feel normal

I never feel carefree

but I think I am accepting of this

Maybe it is immature and cynical

but its the mature part of me that knows

in spite of how I feel now, my joy will be that much greater

when I find those who let me in

make me feel comfortable with my abnormality

with whom I am carefree

for now, I am content completing my own ring