Futile Efforts

Tired of trying alone,
tired of the fights,
tired of showing the sides,
the sides of your dislikes.

I doubt I will ever feel like leaving,
it started out with you hating to be alone,
and though u aren't better off where u are now,
at this place; unknown
I'll try harder,
I will try some more,
I'll try to work on the sides you dislike,
all this before,
my tragic demise.

no regrets, no..
I wouldn't have done anything different if I had known,
I would be the same person,
you would be lost just the same
although not alone.

as soon as  i feel like I have you
you magically slip away.
this I can't understand,
yet,
I must pay.

I don't want u lost,
I don't want u away from me,
I don't want to know,
that the unchartered waters,
flows into a tormented sea.

I don't want sadness.
.. I don't want to just be me.
I don't want u to do you,
in that case,
I just don't wanna be free.