The Future Isn’t Comfortable

I’m quite comfortable

and inconveniencing my own comforts to “grow up” is vain

at least thats the story i read to myself 

but in truth, I’m afraid

“I’m narrowing it down” i tell them,

their gawking eyes barring down on me

as if to force my hand and finally make a decision

however i must go to college,

it is an irrefutable fact

for dreams without action are futile

as are my fears of

making a mistake 

ending up in the wrong place

my life until now has been inconsequential, 

irrelevant 

my decisions minor and bearing no weight on my life,

my fate.

oh what is my fate?

one may never tell

until I take the jump.

so I sweat over essays

sell myself to interviewers

and even write poetry

to fund my greatest anxiety

to feed it

to leap into the great unknown and devour every seed of knowledge to which my future will be owed

I will go to school, I will leave my comfort

and this is how I will do it

in my own element. and in fact,

I’m quite comfortable.