FXR YXU

Dear YXU,

 

It has been a while! How ya been, ya schmuck?

I’m busting down your doorway and my blood pressure’s up

There’s a small stream of spit

Trailing form the rabid corner of my mouth

I’m coming to destroy you!

I rile and I tout

 

But I also wish to save you

Wish to scream, cry, and rouse

Want to shake you back to life

And let your anger fill this house

 

. . . once more.

 

Again.

 

I wouldn’t say it if I meant it, fren.

 

The way you twirl so innocent

Your eyes filled with divine

The way you grip my innerds ‘n

Wrench them to the outside

 

The way you whine, and beg, and moan

For your savior to be me

The way I lead you on until

You realized you were in equal company

 

True blue your eyes are downcast

You think your worth is nothing

 

True me I’m always hurting

And can’t pinpoint the suffering

 

To you who always frowns and yet tries to conceal

Welcome to my madness

The smile’s come free with the meal

 

We all got a little crazy

And yours compliments mine

 

But your brand of depravation is contagious

I see it all the time

 

So I’ll rage on in my thoughts

Whilst trying to unfurl

The way you look right past me

Until you have thoughts to hurl

 

Truest blue, you were never mine

To love, care, or possess,

Yet here I am embracing you,

It is me you have chosen to allow caress

 

Each time we’re together and the awkward passes

We’re left with only ourselves

A broken you and an optimistic me

Let’s forget these unholy shells

 

Let us bash our brains in

Let us defile our bones

Let us tattoo our insides out

until all that’s left is stone

 

Let us remove the ineloquences

Let us relinquish our grasps

Let us join hands in freefall

Let us hit the pavement fast

 

Or just me, doll, hopefully you hit it last

And I can cushion your blow

And the weight of your past

 

I don’t love you, I cry

I don’t need you, I lie

I won’t touch you, I deny

 

And each time I rectify,

A little more of you dies

 

So, instead,

I’ll try

 

For someone who doesn’t care if I crash

Or fly

 

This isn’t my last good bye,

 

Though I wish it was.

 

-XXXX

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