Life stinks.

I'm sick of it.

Get up 20 times, get knocked down 20 times

Pity? I'm past that point. Rn it's more...ok.

So this is how it’s going to be.

I see now how it is.

As if things weren't already dying.

Why stab a bleeding out patient?

Why trip a cripple?

Why rain when I'm already soaking wet?

It's tiring to constantly try to keep up.

I'm tired of playing catch up.

I'm tired of being the only one that's failing.

It feels like all the fight’s left me. Not that I was very energetic to begin with.

It was supposed to be a down hill battle, yet why am I going back uphill?

Gosh this stinks.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!

I hate the voices. I hate these feelings.

Where do I go from here?

I was riding on luck but it crashed.

It burned. Ashes swept across the Atlantic.

What kind of—-

No wonder I chose to hide away

I can't live in this world.

I can't adapt to these conditions.

I can't even stand up let alone breathe and live and thrive and grow like I'm supposed to

I'm ashamed to look in the mirror.

Let alone look at you guys

It hurts.

But maybe that’s ok. Maybe that just means that I'm alive. Maybe the pain means it’s ok.

That the pain is a good sign. I wish they would shut up. I can't think anymore.

It’s like a cloud is floating around in my mind. I wonder what you were expecting?

I hope nothing brilliant nonetheless something average.

At best, I can only muster up an apathetic face.

Or really it’s just my face bc I can't find it in me to smile, to yell,

to scream, to get angry, to cry, to laugh, to care.

Who in the world?

Is it fun?

Watching a train wreck into the depths of oblivion?

Is it fun?

Putting boulders so high and wide, the path is blocked and I have to climb again?

Is it fun?

Watching us struggle and fall and then struggle some more and then die?

Gah. No matter how much I think about it, it all ends in death anyways.

But that's ok. It's all ok. Everything is gonna be a ok

bc like Hamlet said...isn't death just a slumber?

One that you just never wake up from?

Surely it's not that bad.

There should be nothing of be afraid of.

I like sleeping anyways as long as there are dreams.

An eternal slumber doesn't sound half bad.

Honestly right now it sounds kind of nice.

It didn't really matter. It doesn't really matter. It shouldn't really matter.

I wonder if this is self-hypnosis? Or a delusion?

A fantasy? A hallucination? Or even worse...is this really reality?

Do I really have to live in this life? Do I have to carry on like this?

It's ok.

It's fine.

Everything’s gonna be alright.

Don't worry about it. Tomorrow the sun will shine.

Time will tick on. The Earth will continue to rotate.

The flowers will continue on blooming.

The dogs will bark at cats.

The trees will tremble, and shed, and grow.

And whether you, or him, or me, or her is there, does it matter?