Genetic Mutation

by dsimples

August 9, 2014

Underneath these clothes, I work out everyday

I am proud of my body, the gym I slay

..but I have a heart condition

I have a chest implant

an ICD

afraid of what people will say

I hold back this information

I just can’t

find it in me

to show off what I consider a deformity

in my chest

I considered it a weakness

that holds me back from my best

only recently did I lay this belief to rest

I am more ambitious than ever before

but unfortunately

I still don’t believe

that this is not

a deformity

So I throw on thicker clothes

so that nobody knows

or sees

the ICD

bulging through me

And if I reach a heart rate of over two-hundred and forty

oh lordy, it delivers a shock that will literally floor me

I am taking more risks, more than I should be

Like instigating fights and riding heart racing thrills

and I just hope that through my life this won’t be the thing that kills

all my possible fun

I just want to have fun

like everyone...

else

but until I get my confidence under control like belts

and a bad kid

I will be insecure about this device in my chest a tad bit

I will continue to act as if I didn’t contract this

Genetic Mutation

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