german shepherd

i breathe in anger and you breathe out violence and we breathe out hatred together and maybe we can build something different with the scraps we are fed off the tables of others, affection hard-fought for and hard-won; we don't know how to be soft anymore. instead we bite like a threatened dog— angry barking and trying desperately to be heard by anyone while no one listens, looked down on and told to shut up because i am too young but you are too old and i don't want to be a stereotype but i'm too angry for that. not only is anger my breath but it's my fuel and violence is your language and i'm learning how to be fluent if only to speak with you more, and i hate it all; self-hatred because i am you and you are me and really, we aren't separate, we just want to pretend because anger and violence and hate are better separate. or else i lash out like a bad dog.