getting to know the addict

Racing hearts, thoughts to match, knew it was bullshit, the high never lasts. A breath, a touch, makes you give in so fast. Pain brings you to a wall you simply cannot pass. I love you, I hate you. I don't even know you. Thoughts cycle through my brain and I have no one to go to. No house to return home to. Chemical imbalances in the brain are what I'm prone too. Bang, snort, smoke the dope too. Junkie + Junkie with nothing but addiction to face, equals a lot of problems to go through. People start to run together and questioning who's who, and your high and paranoid so you stop picking up the phone too. I hate the way I am, a stepping stone. So many feet walking over me, never a helping hand, waiting for someone to stick around when they step towards and land. Just know I never mapped you out, you were never a part of my plan. You said you'd keep me grounded, but with you I feel surrounded. By everything I hate to love, by crystal I am bounded. Chains and shackles, ropes and deadbolts will keep you mounted. I had exactly 6.4 grams in my stash, yes I actually counted. Can't live with my mom, she would never allow it. My dads a fan of the bottle, he isn't the same without it. I think a lot inside my head, nothing to be done about it. So he hits the bottle, she takes a hit, I suck it up my nose, and you take the rig. We have fun cause we enjoy the high, when it reality we're all fucking sick. It isn't funny, it isn't happy, the life I chose to live. But when temptation entered my mind for the first time, I had no fight left to give. Don't tell me how it makes me feel, because to me you're full of shit. Amphetamines give you love, and destroy it just as quick. Your weak, your brittle, your hair resembling hay. Next time you're asked to try a drug say man, no fucking way. Heroin will give you euphoria, weed allows you to healthily smoke, xanax created to help you relax, and I just had to fall in love with dope. I cried in my bathroom floor, asking god if it was all just a joke. I felt his silence louder than ever as the vein I tried just broke. And when I dropped my bag on the floor, I lost every bit of hope. when I found the addict in you, the addict in me awoke.

This poem is about: 
Me

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