The Girl I Thought I Loved

Back in grade school,

You were everything.

I thought of you during the loneliest,

Darkest hours of the night.

You were the one

That I admired from afar,

That made my grades slip

Because I was only paying attention to you.

For five years I suffered

Never telling anyone

Who mattered the most to me

You.

I never told you,

I never told my friends,

I never told anyone.

Yet here I am,

Confessing on a sheet of paper,

To the world,

On the internet

For everyone to see.

That you were the one,

The girl with the curly blonde hair,

And the light blue eyes.

The girl that broke her arm skiing,

And her leg trampoline-ing.

The girl that I asked to my first homecoming,

The girl that accepted my invitation,

And let me think that it would be mutual.

The girl that let me down.

The girl that wanted to go home with some other guy. 

The girl that I bought my first suit for,

And went to a classy restaurant for.

The girl I waited five years for.

You.

You are that girl.

The girl that taught me to be quiet.

The girl that taught me to forget.

The girl that taught me sadness.

The girl that taught me that I wasn't good enough.

And still,

I lay awake in bed,

Reminiscing when you were the girl with the curly blonde hair,

And the light blue eyes.

And I realize that you were not the cure,

But the poison.