The Girl I'm Supposed to Love

One day I was able to call you my best friend

But now it's like the words won't escape from my mouth.

Thinking you know what's best for me

And with goodness as your intention

But with the opposite effect occurs.

Always leaving a horrible taste afterwards.

The mask I have to put on when I'm around you is intoxicating

It can be very tiring.

I have to form a checklist just to remind myself:

• Smile at her
• Talk to her
• Be there for her

And I do it no problem

But sometimes, keeping the mask on has been harder and harder to do.

And I try not to think about it

And once I feel like we are in a better place...

BOOM!

It goes back to the same routine

And right now I am tired.

Tired of not sleeping,

Tired of working,

Tired of putting this all on me.

I don't want to pretend anymore.

One day I was able to call you my best friend,

But it's best if I don't love you anymore.