The Girl Next Door

The girl next door was none existent.

She was not seen, but always there.

She was my best friend. She knew everything about me, from my secrets to the basic little things.

She knew me better than I knew myself.

She knew what I wanted to hear and to her my silence was deafening.

She wouldn’t admit this to anyone but I was growing out of her.

It’s been almost 6 years since we’ve met.

She’s been here every day ever since then.

She’s paid attention more anyone I know, and I have done the same to her.

I changed her.

She was a danger to herself & everyone around her.

I would like to say that I saved her just before she snapped but . . . that’s not true.

I was too late.

She had hurt herself, her family, her friends, her boyfriend, and anyone in between.

She would catch me right before I fell; pull me off the ledge.

But years later that would change.

When u keep killing bugs eventually the generation after will become immune to certain methods.

That bug spray you keep handy may not work.

That trusty shoe you have may not be able to crack its shell.

And so on and so on.

Basically, overtime things evolve.

I evolved.

Her methods weren’t working. It became hard for her to reach me.

I was saving myself, which was all she could ever ask for.

But I wasn’t saving myself safely.

I was becoming more violent, ill tempered, blunt, rude, and disrespectful & the wall I put up was getting thicker every day.

Angel was always on the inside of the wall, with me, protecting me, and helping me.

Soon enough she couldn’t even get inside the wall.

I began to push her away.

I had out grown her.

When you watch Teen Wolf, you know that Scott McCall can take away someone’s physical pain. But when u minus something it has to be added to another.

He took away their pain but gave it to himself. Like a sacrifice.

That’s what I was doing with Angel. I didn’t realize it until now.

When I met her she was a broken girl; completely destroyed.

She had been through things no girl should ever have to.

I had never seen someone as beautiful as her, nor as hurt.

She had no idea how to coup with her pain, so she latched out.

I helped her, changed her, and took her in.

We grew close, very close.

I took her pain away, I took away her bad habits, but I had to absorb them to do so.

I had to make the ultimate sacrifice for her.

But I didn’t mind.

You’ll do anything for the people you love.

My love for her is out of this world.

No one can compare to her.

Since the day I met she has been number one in my eyes.

I put nothing & no one before her.

She is my other half.

She was my other half.

I don’t need her anymore.

As I said before I picked up her bad habits.

Pushing people away, not needing anyone, forgetting what it’s like to be human, being a loner, being cold hearted, and doing anything I want no matter who it hurts.

I could care less if I hurt your feelings.

I could care less if you loved & cared about me.

I could care less if I was your number one.

I didn’t care who I hurt.

I needed no one & nothing.

So maybe these aren’t good traits but I find them quite beneficial.

I’m no longer hurt by people’s actions.

They can leave me, lie to me, and betray me and it wouldn’t bother me.

I’m completely unbothered now.

I’m grateful for this.