Girls - To My Assaulter

Back off,

Blue is for boys,

cars are for boys,

first place is for boys,

“I get what I want,” is for boys

But girls are not toys, and they are not for boys to enjoy

When I was ten,

I learned that if you want something

you say yes,

and if you don’t,

you say no

It was simple,

Yet the English language made me

uncomfortable

with words like rape and molestation

that cannot be spoken

only experienced in silence

Back off,

don’t say those words,

they don’t exist,

smile,

cross your legs,

straighten your skirt

things like that don’t happen to nice girls who know when to be quiet

I wanted a normal childhood,

to play hopscotch and

learn how to braid,

NOT how to unbuckle a man’s belt

But it isn’t a father’s duty

to teach his daughter what to do

When her legs are forced open

when society blames girls for their

“daddy issues” in ways

they never imagined.

Back off,

no,

stop,

Either men are hard

or hard of hearing

or America

has a really hard time accepting no as an answer

I watched daddy teach my brothers how to be gentlemen:

Hold the door open

Buy them flowers.

But I wonder,

where they learn to become monsters?

The first time I had a fight with a man,

was in the ring of a courtroom

I stared into his eyes

I stared into his eyes

soulless and empty

smirking with confidence

I pierce my voice through his polluted heart

The court looked at me like I was crying ‘wolf’

I smiled

he smiled

I won.

I lost.

I had stripped him of his freedom

He had stripped me of my innocence

and in that moment, I thought I would never love again

And in the end,

I learned my lesson,

Pink is for girls,

Crying is for girls,

Flowy skirts,

Floral shirts,

Fake, fit, fat, flat, frizzy, flirty

Failure is for girls

who try to succeed in a world

where men will always win.

but I will not stop

until he knows what it feels like to be a woman

to feel powerless and to be blamed for what a man has done

until he learns how to act like a decent human being

Back off,

before I was a victim, I was a girl

whose love could

crush bones

and

create mountains

whose soul you took

but never

returned

Do not tell me to “love myself before I can love somebody else”

I will never for a second blame myself,

or belong to somebody else.

You cannot

determine my worth

with your worthlessness

Because it was you who needed loving

it was you who needed fixing

It was you

who tried to hide your weakness

but I am strong

Because girls are not toys  

and they are not for boys to destroy.