GOD

internal most gracious father, I come to you again. Asking you to change my ways of sin. Make me a better person through the evil within. I've been lieing to myself. Treating myself like a lost cause. I've been so disconnected with you, that I've put my heart in the wrong ponds. I feel wicked in my flesh, I have no soul to connect. I feel the words of neglect, in the back of my head, because of my flesh. It makes you doubt your free will. Hanging your name to the highest bitter. Changing your ways in the cold ignorance of a violent sinner. The world makes you believe, Jesus can't walk on water. It's not for everyone to see, it's only for the stone achievers. The one's that truly believe. But me, I've been so lost on this mountain, it feels like you're forsaking me. No one hear my screams, in my mind of suffering. I can't say I'm going through a lot, because I was told, I was to young to be depressing. You have to be happy, because the world's on your side. But God when I think about it, I know that's a lie. Because I know real, and fake when I look into someone's eyes. But I can't say that to no one, they'll take it as high pride. Thinking I'm trying to be a false profit, or play the victim, when I'm really a nice guy. It's hard to be positive, when negativity sleeps with you at night. Look into my eyes God, tell me what you see. Because I can't see a thing, except for the horns that keep doubting me. no I'm not soulless for the one's who are reading. I actually have demons, that I'm not afraid to tell the world I'm facing. That's what makes me honest, not crazy. I look at my good, bad, and my ugly on the daily. Some are so conceited with themselves, they think they're perfect. Also because they go to church every Sunday, and think they're perfect. My grandfather always told me, even good people go to hell, they're all not worth it. So keep that in mind, and leave me alone, stay focused. God I'm sorry my actions through this prayer, I know it sounds provoking. But I need your light in this journey. It's hard to turn your mind on success, when the world turns it's back on you. I have a handful of people that look out for me, and I pray for you. I just don't know what I would do without you. God I know I've been so doubtful. Having a Mind of a spiteful, without a Bible. I only pray when I see you at the chapel. You birth my revival. In my dark time of sorrow. I create my own halo, on my own time in survival. You made me a soldier. So I shouldn't be so doubtful. The strongest soldier's go through the worst to gain success. It isn't a cake walk. That's why we wear a vest. I faith is on you God, I will never give it a rest. Because whenever I succeed, you'll be the first I've give thanks to as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.