God Forbid

When I look at myself in the mirror

and think that I could destroy the world

and graffiti the sky

             all in a single day

I leave my makeup drawer untouched

and wear bright red converse

to show how I could kick anyone’s ass

            right here, right now

without breaking a sweat.

But other days I look at myself

and see a broken girl

with monsters in her head

and stardust burned into her skin.

           So I fill my gaze with kohl

and a dusting of mascara;

I spread red across my lips like blood

and wear high heels I normally wouldn’t

just so I don’t feel powerless.

And I will personally

            rip out the still-beating heart

of anyone who asks “why are you all

dressed up? Is it for a guy?”

             Because God-forbid

that I should want to feel good

about myself.

God-forbid

I take the time to do my hair

and makeup

on the days I look in the mirror

             and feel weak.