Going to Sleep; Hardest Thing In My Life

You need to talk to them,

but something could go wrong.

You need to save money,

but money just won’t save itself. 

You need to help your friend,

but you need someone too.

You have to do this and that, 

and more of this, don’t forget.

Pushing of thoughts, 

tangles of emotions,

sorrow and rot,

deep deprivations,

moving back to the process of separation.

You should put your laundry away,

but it will just fill up again.

You need to get your car fixed,

but time isn’t in your favor.

You need to be patient,

but that’s just not easy anymore.

You need to do what’s right,

but what is it you are doing wrong?

Clashing of memories,

confusion of choices,

explanations and stories,

attacks of bits,

slowly falling into the mindset of fits. 

You need to stop thinking,

but isn’t thinking all you have?

You need to sleep now,

but do you even have time?

You need to not worry,

but can you not when nothing is right?

You need to be strong,

but how strong can one be in a fight?

Strength of oneself,

overcoming of hurt,

alone and fighting,

nightly conflicts,

almost fading into the world of sleepless addicts.

You need give in,

but the night is scary.

You need someone there,

but the night for you is lonely.

You need to know,

but a knowing just isn’t understanding.

You need to be you,

and that’s the moment, I begin sleeping.