Gone To Church

I never really liked going to church

Since a child, the culprit in question was

Time

What time is it

How long till the priests stops

How long till the doors open

How long till we start kneeling

How long till they break the bread

It’s still a lot like that

First you dip your hand in holy water

Or was it your finger finger

I don’t know I never did it

I just skipped it

Unnecessary step

I mean what if someone sick touched that water

Better safe than sorry

Finding a seat is strange too

I usually arrive late

And the cues are unknown

So I made my own

Just wait till a song

Then I go in

And who do I sit next to

The devout nun kneeling

Or the empty row on the other side

Choices

Once again I don’t know any cues

But I’m not alone in this

At least I think

I’m sure there are others

When to stand

When to sit

When to kneel

So I just follow the crowd

Maybe that’s what the priest meant by sheep

Herd and prod the crowd and the rest follow

The songs are cool

I guess

I still don’t know the lyrics

The choir goes Hosanna in the highest

Who’s Hosanna

Some of them are pretty catchy

Catchy enough to listen again

And maybe learn a few lines

But when it gets to the prayers

I mumble

Because there are too many words

They’re not gonna fit in my head

I got other stuff to put in there

I used to pray when it was time to kneel

Everyone on their knees

A wooden cushion

I don’t pray anymore though

Eyes just wander

Waiting for the first few to get up

To plop back on their seats

Like sheep the rest follow

Along with me

I used to always shake people’s hands

But it’s more of chore now

No longer a gesture

Sometimes if I’m really out of it

I’ll say I’m sick

Sorry

Peace be with you they say

They smile

I smile

Both a veneer

Authenticity is overrated

Then comes the body of Christ

Stale bread

It should really be potato chips

Then I would go up every time

But lately I stopped

Legs crossed I watch as people pass by

Because I know

If you get the bread that means

Another session of fake praying

Another session of eyes wandering

Another session of waiting

It’s not that I’m insensitive or God forbid satanic

It’s more like I don’t care

So why do I keep going