GOODBYE

Dear Anxiety,

I never expected to face you in this way, because quite frankly the only encounters we have had are the day-to-day hell filled moments you bring upon my every waking moment. However, you should know that this is really it; this is.. goodbye. I know you are sitting there laughing, tears sprung in your eyes, because you don’t think I could possibly have the strength to defeat you. Go ahead, get it all out, because that, old friend, is where you are sadly mistaken. It is finally time, I am breaking free of your flames that have engulfed me for years and left my fragile soul to slowly turn to dust.

I first met you when I was thirteen years old, young and naive, unknowing of the havoc you would wreak on my life. I remember it so distinctly, your hands grabbed me and you began putting thoughts into my mind as my heart race increased, gaining complete control over my being. I sat there, terrified and perplexed of what this inexplicable feeling was, and tears began to fill my eyes. I can almost hear your sinister laugh as you watched me struggle, your devilish smile as you realized I would be your new victim for the next few years. You filled my mind with the most insignificant questions, making me soar far beyond the usual worry of any normal individual. All of the world’s problems now became my own, because of you everything wrong in the lives of others and my own were all my fault. As you continued to watch me struggle and writhe in pain, I felt as if I was underwater, no longer able to breathe. Once the flood you brought upon me washed away I began gasping for air, as I sat there shivering in the corner of my dark room, all alone.

As years passed, this became a daily occurrence; and as I awoke one day and looked in the mirror I was horrified at what was staring back at me: you. In that moment I realized that what I had become, what you molded me into, a product of your inner self that you were now living through. However, what I think you failed to realize, is that deep down my soul was still alive and well, ready to face you and regain control of who I was. I slowly began chipping away at you, but you were too blinded by the life you created for yourself inside of me to notice; now you were the one turning to dust. You don’t believe me, do you? I figured you wouldn’t, so go on, take a look for yourself. I can picture you reading this as you stand in front of a mirror, and now I am the one laughing, as you start to become aware that while you were so caught up in holding me captive, somewhere along the way by soul started to ruin YOU. So go on now, panic. I want you to feel the same sense of complete and utter fear as you realize what has become of you, just as you did to me. In your last moments, I hope you see that despite the everlasting affliction you gave and control you had, you will never live to see the day where one’s inner soul will not conquer you. As you take your last few breaths, I hope you see that this is really it, you will never see the light again; goodbye. Do you believe me now? This is GOODBYE. Goodbye for all the individuals whose lives you have haunted, left to drown in the wave, alone in the darkness of their own lives.

Goodbye,

Erica and all of your victims