Goodbye

 I thought life was meant to be easy

It at least wasn't meant to be this hard

My grandfather was dear

But his time had come

He had to leave

It was the better than alternative

Suffering

We thought things had gotten a little better

Life was easier

We had gone through the motions

Dealt with our grief

And sent it on its way

But Fate had other plans

I saw many doctors in the months to follow

Too many to be comfortable

I lay awake a night

Wishing for it to be over

Cancer was all they said it would be

Scary

I masked my pain behind a smile

Everyone saw me as “strong”

No one saw the hurt

I tried to be brave

To show everyone that I could do it

And though I did

Not all me survived

Pieces of me died

And I will never get them back

Fear remains

Every fiber of my being aches

Because there is always a chance

That it may happen again

That I may have my life ripped from me

When I thought I had figured things out

When I thought I knew what it was like

To be