Goodbye Goodness

Dear Goodness,

When I walked in the house I already knew

The silence it echoed throughout the room

I crept upstairs only to hear

tears hitting the floor and my sister pulling her hair

Shocked, I kept walking, into my parents’ room

and there it lay lifeless, "just like you" I assumed

the paper laid flat and stared right at me

I didn’t think a piece of paper would freight me

But I already knew and so I wanted to fight it

your death on that paper was stamped and they signed it

"The cancer was too much", I immediately thought

But then I remembered just how much you fought

How you never cried to me about the pain

How the headaches made you go insane

How your mother cried by you every night

How your father read the bible by the light 

You never gave up, so how could cancer win

I could feel the devil wearing a grin

And I felt the goodness of the world leave

and at first, I couldn’t even grieve

But when I saw your body, mine withered like leaves

The tears overflowing like a stream

My heart just kept pounding, I could hold it no more

"GOODNESS!" 

I screamed at your wake

Eyes so red they would make demons quake

Voice so sharp it cut the silence in one take

No more tears, so I let my body just shake

And I screamed "God he was seventeen, God he was 17"

Hoping I would wake up from this dream

But it wasn’t a dream

This was reality

Momma said "God took him"

And that was enough for her

But my entire life crumbled under this duality

On the one hand God stopped your pain and let you die

But God also allowed the pain to make you suffer and die

I thought surely this is a lie

My life almost lost because I couldn't open my eye

Your death was a loss of my soul

My innocence replaced

With nothing more than a memory of your face

I love you Goodness, don't be mad at me

And I won't be sad for you

I hope our God in heaven is good to you too.

Goodbye