goodnight, it never would have lasted

the memories of you have burned a hole into my brain,

theyve singed my hair,

painted the walls ash-grey.

i asked if i could burn the sweatshirt

but it wasnt your face i was looking at,

though it was the one i was seeing,

but even if you didnt answer me

im not sure i could do it

thats why im having someone else do it for me.

if you had stood any closer

hugged any longer

i wouldve ripped my skin off.

i wouldve torn out my ribcage and handed it to you

because you took that barrier from me.

i might even give you my spine,

because you took that from me too

when you asked where to meet me when it was 4am.

i told you im not perfect

im still gonna have days where i trip myself over the thought of you

and it seems i have fallen two flights for you tonight

and i landed face up

with the breath knocked out of me.

but im not gasping for air

im simply waiting

for someone to shake me back to life.

just like im waiting for that sweatshirt to go up in flames.

please dont take it personal

i just found no use in it anymore.

something inside me hurts

and i want my ribcage and spine back

im ready to stitch my skin back together.

hand me a glass of water,

i should get some sleep.

but i wont be kissing your pillow goodnight

you dont deserve any more from me.