Got me tripping

It sometimes feels as though I'm addicted to the carrot on the stick. Your love stays dangling in my face but remains unattainable. Like i want you and you want what i come with but never me. You keep me chasing after this idea of us because as we all know it, nowadays you never have to lie to a woman, her desire of you does it. So you do the barest of minimum while I pour bucket loads of love on to this illusion of us that I've sculpted. And no it's not your fault, you just came into my life at a time I was tired of feeling lonely and i just wanted to feel something. I mistook your actions for love. A part of me had forgotten that it's not safe in these streets when you don't have your guard up. And boy! You swing hard. Like I'm too old to be writing about pending heartbreaks at two A.M but here I am, finally coming down from the ecstacy of your "love" and I feel stupid for staring the truth in the eye and still not seeing it, because I definitely don't have the 20-20 vision. If I did I wouldn't have mistook your lust for love and blurred the lines, while sipping on wine and believing you're mine. They say chase the bag and not the man, I must have been dizzy because now that my brain has recalculated, I'm confused as to why I'm chasing illusions. So I stop, get out the way, get home, let my hair down, run myself a bath, sage the room, play some jazz and start catching my breath. It gets exhausting trying to convince love that you don't need to chase it when all it ever wants to do is keep getting away from you. And you have to play fetch, but with yourself. How crazy is that?