Grasping in the Mist

I am talking to a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend.
Or
I am writing an essay, a story, a poem
And
I stop. The right word evades me. There are many words I could use,
Or
There are no words at all,
But
The right word evades me either way.
When I am thinking
Or
I am talking to myself, I do not need the right word.
There is a feeling, an image, a group (cluster) of related words.
But
The outside (corporeal) world is not my mind.
I stop
What I am doing, I babble, I move my hands through the air,
But
The right word evades me.
I feel my mind swirling, like the whirlpool in the Odyssey (Charybdis)
I feel my mind stopping-starting, like a 1990's Internet connection
I cannot continue until I find the right word.
I am not joking. I am not Shel Silverstein. This is not silly, surrealist.
I need the right word. I twitch, my mind burns, my skin crawls, my fingernails want to fly
off.
When I speak, write, my words will flow, a stream of information, intent, emotion.
But
A block (dam) stops, impedes (interupts) this flow. Pressure builds as I search out the
right word.
I find it. My torment ends. I grin, over-joyed.
Or
The right word evades me. Seconds pass, my perception of time takes form,
An hourglass in my mind, the grains falling like leaves. (Purgatory)
This poem is flawed. Like my speech, it is not right (imperfect).
I wanted groups of threes. Not these ones, twos, fours. The structure does not obey my
design.
These lines are inelegant (clumsy), an abomination.
I want to destroy it, erase the data, shred the paper, eliminate (obliterate) all record.
It is like a direct translation from another language: the ideas are present, but it lacks
grace, ease.
But
It is the best I can do. Wrong. It is the best I am going to do.
I wish to (must) explain, somehow, this trouble I have with words.
I wonder if others have this trouble. Of course they must.
Individuals are unique
But
They are composed of similar
And
Related experiences, situations, neuroses, emotions, thoughts, hopes.
Like building blocks, functionally infinite combinations from finite supplies.
I need the right word.