The Great Pretender*
A threadbare silence wraps itself
Around my hearing,
Stopping the sounds that
Have submerged my skin and
It replaces the noises with
My own hammering thoughts
Though I beg for
The black or for the white,
It is grey hands that grip my heart,
And it is grey ands that
Induce a cold spread
Which shivers against my ribs
As it saturates my soul
Recently I have found that,
As my body dances,
My brain goes numb,
Yet, when my body numbs,
My brain dances to
The beat of
Clammy memories which grip
Even the loveliest
Of my dreams
All comprehension is confused
By that impact which
Exploded my heart into
Splinters as fine as
The dust that
Trickles down the
Glass sides of passing time
Despite struggling to fit
The jigsawed pieces back together,
I have found that some
Still remain missing -
Or stolen -
And my internals
Still bleed freely
It has become apparent that
This all-consuming pain is
Far too demanding
To ever allow my
Tissue to toughen or scar
Despite all that is said around me
About the necessity of
Getting over stupid happenings
And young breaks,
Perhaps all anyone ever really means
Is that there is a necessity to pretend,
To pretend that there is an escape
From these blows
That break us
And from these bellowing moments
That engulf our future visions
*Title comes from "The Great Pretenders" - a song by The Platters and also
the title of a student written play performed at my high school.