Great regret

For years I have known you and every chance I have blown. I couldnt feel more stupid because I should have known. You put up with my stupid, my flaw, my crap. There are times to this day I wish that I did open my trap. I would say the right thing and be more clear about how I feel. Id tell you truth and be honest that my feelings are real. I knew you were going to leave for school in the fall. For this reason I said nothing at all. I kept quiet which I am good at to avoid a last minutes affection. Except it was there it took me in an unexpected direction. I feel it now what those broken heart songs are talking about. Its like a special depression I am finding out. It doesnt help that theres a new guy making you feel happy and hopefully free. Its a constant bother that its not with me. He touches, hes close, I am sure he talks. With these things he smothers my flaws. I do not now dislike you nor him. Its the thought of if I acted, and what could have been.