Grow Up Already

As a child

i could be weird

i could be silly

i could be me

with no one to tell me otherwise. 

I couldn't wait to be an adult!

As i grew older

i was told -

to be more Lady Like,

don't walk like a man,

don't act like that,

at least wear mascara so you don't look like you just woke up,

don't eat that - you'll gain weight 

Self doubt leered over me constantly,

fearful of not fitting in

even when i was with family.

I was scolded for saying something weird,

so i wouldn't talk.

I have flash backs of when i say something that Mother would've scolded me for 

what if they don't like me

do they think i'm weird...?

So i stay silent

stitches around my lips

for if i speak,

i may get hurt.

try to fit in

make sure you adapt

make them like you

make more friends

because the ones you have are weird.

...I don't like growing up anymore...