Growing Up

I started my first day of kindergarten With a nervous smile and untied shoes And Byron didn’t hug me because he didn’t want cooties And Gemma and I played with my mother’s makeup Coloring our faces and pretending to act like A grown up. I started my first day of middle school With a nervous smile and a new outfit And Byron started to date girls And didn’t believe in cooties anymore. And Gemma started to wear makeup everyday Because she wanted to look pretty like A grown up. I started my first day of high school With a nervous smile and a heavy backpack And Byron started sleeping with lots of girls But not actually committing to one girl. And Gemma caked her face with makeup And all the boys noticed her and she felt pretty. And no one would listen to us because we Were not quite kids but we weren’t yet A grown up. I threw up my graduation cap on the last day of high school With a big smile and a short dress And Byron actually did get cooties from some girl And another girl gave him a baby Even though he never wanted one. And Gemma went to rehab Because she started to not feel pretty And stopped eating for a while. And now no one wants to be A grown up. I started my first day of college With an anxious smile and a new laptop. And Byron didn’t go to college Because he didn’t get accepted anywhere. And Gemma went back to rehab Because she still didn’t feel pretty enough Even though she was beautiful. And I don’t talk to either of them anymore Because Byron doesn’t need me And Gemma doesn’t want me. And everything worries me now Because this is what it feels like To be a grown up.