Growing up

Well if this is growing up 
I want no part
Apart from the fact you can do everything
Legal
Get a job and buy candy 
Or maybe take trip to the beach
Throw rocks at seagulls 
Stupid seagulls
Apart from the fact you can do everything
And I quote legal
You have to dabble in the field of maturity 
And being a kid who is bipolar
That means being normal in society
Except everything is against you
I hate it how people think like a light switch I can turn off my extreme emotions
That is what medication is for
Sewing together what every piece of normal I have left
life wants to sell me off
You can't make a teddy bear with just the cotton stuffing
That is what I am 
Why do my friends say they'll put me back together
I have to get a 9 to 5
Where from 9 to 5 I am constantly thinking of dying
You think crying is the only thing I can do to sustain my uncontrolled desires
I'm tired of asking human being how to be a human being
I am still confused
Everything I do is either wrong
Or disappointing 
Reassure me. Let me know everything
You say there will be a better tommorrow 
What if I don't deserve that future
Let the devil bestow upon me gutters of never ending guilty 
Party of one. Me
Who thinks that saying sorry makes up for your mistakes 
That let's it rain love 
Have it evaporate into loneliness
what I'm trying to say is I need extra love on the days when you see me looking down
A hug from someone who isn't affected by a set reputation
Someone who can provide acceptance
Is like a the best way to show me you care
Don't you think I'm worth it