Growing Pains

Sparkly pinks and yellows on my feet

Holding my parents hand across the street

Over the cracks, I leap

For the sake of my mother’s back 

Puberty was like a slap

In the face

Wondering where was my place

In the once inviting schools I knew 

The winds of change blew

My confidence quivered as my anxiety rose

My peers watching in desk rows 

It seemed I was the center of the show

That I didn’t to star in 

The lack of a friend

Or any for that matter made everything 

Worsen

I thought of the time

When these thoughts didn’t cross my mind

When I was free and young

But now my own demons hung

Over my head and heart

Trying to figure out where did it start

Maybe when my legs became prickly

Or when wearing a tank top became risky

In school

Because of mature curves I could not control

Making me fold

My self-worth and confidence in half

Reaching for the past

Trying to cover up the person I was becoming

Constantly running

From who I was to who I wanted to be

An ideal set by society

Enforced by my own mentality 

Not even 13 yet

Now my mind is set

From the lessons I’ve learned in this short amount of time

Self-hatred should be a crime

I am the only thing holding myself back

And the relationships I lack

Only make my self-love stronger

Because you are with no one longer

Than yourself.