grown up

when my father's

voice no longer

brought me comfort,

but made me angry

was when i knew

i wasn't a little

girl anymore.

when my mother's

hand no longer

made me feel

safe and small

was when i knew

i wasn't so

young anymore.

when my sister

started to hate me

for bleeding out

every month

was when i knew

we wouldn't play

barbies anymore.

when my beloved pets

started to get

old and fragile

and one by one

dropped 6 feet under

was when i knew

i would soon follow.

when i started to

hate the world and

everything it stood for

when i lost my hope

in humanity

was when i knew

i was a grown up.