Numb with emotion.
Focused,
On potent herbs to smoke in my lungs.
Choking,
On clouds carrying my mind to heights I couldn't fathom,
As I lay stoic...

Hands feel fatigue after fighting for a long time.
It's hard enough to write a rhyme,
When I have to ball up fists after each bitch that crossed a line.
Ink spilling everyday hoping smudged images can suffice the emptiness inside...

But still I'm stroking pens on full effect.
When I need to vent,
I let the heat out my verbal Smith and Wes,
And spit bullets out the barrel with all names written who've caused the friction...

Problem is,
What is there to be numb about,
With my head high in the clouds,
Oxygen wearing thin,
As I'm kept clothed around a life to live?

There's no turning back from the second wind you earn when flying for your dreams...
Addiction manifests into tastes of escape,
When arriving closer to the scene...
Vibrations beneath the warmth of unexposed light illuminating your soul,
Turn to sedation.
Mind races into lucidity onto reality,
Drowned in your own vanity,
Without forgetting your family...

The days where roofs were a luxury,
Kicked out of Dr. Martin Luther king boulevard of all places,
Free,
No food in hand but bed sheets on the street,
Is what I think of when I'm exhausted of running towards my dream...
Back in my darkest days It reminded my mind how polluted it was from lust,
When Loyalty and love became intrusive...
It reminds my spine the fiery feeling of a blade dipped in hate pierced through it,
Whenever I'm wounded...
But thoughts like mom drinking every drop of  liquor she had in her cabinets,
Calling me the soul reason for God's treason Is fuel...
Thoughts like pops sarcastically handing me four dollars,
For asking him if I can eat forgetting that putting food on the table was a bother,
Is fuel...
 

It's fuel to blast off past the rabbit as life tags you as the tortoise,
Even if you wasn't ready for it.
Who really is in a world where peace is more foreign?
Cause over here I'm Latino and unappreciated,
Living in a neighborhood where my own brethren on the corners want to leave me lacerated,
While a government preys on my downfall off the grid feeling all abrasions...

I've been through too much shit to not  love myself,
Believe in myself,
Survive in this concrete jungle without mom and pops,
All by my fucking self...
I've been told too many times I wasn't going to be shit growing up to not succeed,
And have inner peace,
With myself...
So why listen to nay sayers when you realize,
After walking along your journey alone,
That you're the only one who can defeat your inner self?...

So I look in the mirror,
Brain storming how to get bigger,
Observing all my battle wounds on every finger,
Throwing the middle up right behind me with a smile,
To those who said this grizzly wouldn't wake past the winter...

Cause no matter what outrageous dream we all have,
We all have the same goal,
To be happy...
Gladly...
But sadly,
The world decides to be angry,
Sadly...