I always told you the truth
I figured it was common courtesy
But you molded it
Into a monster you used against me.
I watch you
from these walls I’ve built over the years
Wishing you cared enough
To try and climb them.
It must feel great
To be happy
While I sit here
Helpless without you.
I used to think
That you were my happiness
Little did I know
I was never yours.
The only feeling I’ve known
Since you left me
Will forever be more real
Than any feelings I thought you had.
They say time heals all wounds
But the knife you left in my back never healed
My feelings left when you stole my heart
But you still live on in my memory.
You became everything I wanted
And walked out with no reason
I forgave you for the things you did
But couldn’t forgive myself for falling for you.
Dreams are what I relied on
When everything I wanted
Spiralled into chaos
And flew out of my life.
You always seemed to make them
To cover your intentions
If only you tried that hard
In telling the truth.
I couldn’t help it
When I was with you
You faked it the best you could
At least they are real without me.
My apologies were as countless
As my feelings were for you
You must have lost track
Because they meant nothing to you.
This is how we spent our time together
I thought it was your comfort
But you must have been thinking
About how you would break me off.
I was preoccupied thinking
How I could please you next
You thought about yourself
And how you deserved better.
You thought it was annoying
So you left me because of it
Yet I was sad
Because I feared you would leave
I feared the day you’d move on
Because I knew I couldn’t do it
But he could make you happy
Everything I couldn’t do.
Our relationship was one-sided
But you helped me realize my fears.
Falling for someone
Who cared as little as you did.
I wish I could hate you
For the traps you lured me into
But my legs broke in the fall
And I wish you saw I could never leave you.
I poured everything I had into us
But I could never complete you
I was fulfilled in your company
Yet your needs were beyond me.
I used to miss all of you
Your smile, your laugh
But even love is lost to time
Now I just feel the void you left.
Coping with depression by ignoring all sadness
Is a means to no end.
Instead, the road to happiness
Is through accepting sadness as a part of life.
It's been years since you've left
and the lessons I've learned through the pain
will help me forget you
and truly move on.