Guiding My Way
Wondering where can I start but
What beginning is better than from the heart
For over a decade, everything was fine
No complaints, was living life, disregarding time
Growing up in the projects never made a difference to me
Because love from my mother was all I could see
The last of ten children , I am her babygirl
She discipline me from a distance and I understand her
Single mother, so strong, through any weather
Raised me well, can’t say that she could’ve done better
Straight from the bottom to top, she was always advancing
Faced with a lot, but kept the faith with a smile so convincing
I know my dad, but my love is with mom-my
Her endless love is what lead me to find me
Yes, I was lost, but with the faith size of a mustard seed
Let me explain, in case you don’t understand me
July 2009 is when my world began to shift
Weighted with a load that only I was able to lift
Watching my mother lose a child is where the chapter began
I lost my brother, first born, of us Ten
Speaking of 10, in 2010 I lost my mother
Had no choice but stay strong, tragedy after another
Sixteen years old, year and a half left in school
The struggle was real, but still managed to make it through
So blinded and hurt after losing my backbone
Vulnerable and fond of decisions I knew was wrong
Thinking to myself “I just know that this can’t be fate”
Pushing on, cause more tragedies came to face
Another brother, 2013, the pain goes further
Broken heart cause this was, a case of murder
Heart tried to heal, but tragedy wouldn’t lie still
Got a call at work in 2015 stating that my sister was killed
Tell me why, tell me why, tell me how can this be
Why am I losing my family, what is it that I can’t see?
Can’t lie when I lost my sister my everything changed
Even when the sun was out, in my world it rained
Down to seven of us, much pain and much less trust
After all my moms’ guidance, never expected us to split up
Mommy made sure we all knew God, stated he is our father
Said no matter what Keep The Faith and keep in our Bibles
After losing my loved ones I ran away from the memories
‘Till the day I realized that my mother lives in me
She’s gone in the physical, but her spirit is still alive
Didn’t know that all this time she was still by my side
A few testimonies that I can share, no lies
Seen quite a few miracles happen before my eyes
Lift my head to the clock and see that it’s 9:11
Hour later look again, it is now 10:11
Look up again and now I’m staring at 11:11
A little frightened, unsure if it’s just coincidence I’m having
Believe it or not, still seeing it as of Today
Came to conclusion that, my angels are guiding my way
Wasn’t expecting to write this poem today or say the things that I say
Unsure if it’s Coincidentally, but Mommy, Happy Birthday!
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