Guiding My Way

Wondering where can I start but What beginning is better than from the heart  For over a decade, everything was fine No complaints, was living life, disregarding time Growing up in the projects never made a difference to me Because love from my mother was all I could see The last of ten children , I am her babygirl  She discipline me from a distance and I understand her  Single mother, so strong, through any weather Raised me well, can’t say that she could’ve done better  Straight from the bottom to top, she was always advancing Faced with a lot, but kept the faith with a smile so convincing  I know my dad, but my love is with mom-my Her endless love is what lead me to find me  Yes, I was lost, but with the faith size of a mustard seed Let me explain, in case you don’t understand me July 2009 is when my world began to shift  Weighted with a load that only I was able to lift Watching my mother lose a child is where the chapter began I lost my brother, first born, of us Ten Speaking of 10, in 2010 I lost my mother Had no choice but stay strong, tragedy after another Sixteen years old, year and a half left in school  The struggle was real, but still managed to make it through  So blinded and hurt after losing my backbone  Vulnerable and fond of decisions I knew was wrong Thinking to myself “I just know that this can’t be fate” Pushing on, cause more tragedies came to face Another brother, 2013, the pain goes further Broken heart cause this was, a case of murder Heart tried to heal, but tragedy wouldn’t lie still Got a call at work in 2015 stating that my sister was killed Tell me why, tell me why, tell me how can this be Why am I losing my family, what is it that I can’t see? Can’t lie when I lost my sister my everything changed Even when the sun was out, in my world it rained  Down to seven of us, much pain and much less trust After all my moms’ guidance, never expected us to split up Mommy made sure we all knew God, stated he is our father Said no matter what Keep The Faith and keep in our Bibles After losing my loved ones I ran away from the memories ‘Till the day I realized that my mother lives in me She’s gone in the physical, but her spirit is still alive Didn’t know that all this time she was still by my side A few testimonies that I can share, no lies Seen quite a few miracles happen before my eyes Lift my head to the clock and see that it’s 9:11 Hour later look again, it is now 10:11 Look up again and now I’m staring at 11:11 A little frightened, unsure if it’s just coincidence I’m having Believe it or not, still seeing it as of Today Came to conclusion that, my angels are guiding my way Wasn’t expecting to write this poem today or say the things that I say Unsure if it’s Coincidentally, but Mommy, Happy Birthday!       

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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