Guilty I Love You's

I remember when I first met you,

We had this instant connection,

But I should have known that it would turn sour.

I know now that best friends don't keep each other captive.

They don't bring others down because their problems are worse.

They say, "I love you" and don't use it to leave a mark.

I know now that I was your punching bag for the absence of your home.

But some nights, I lie awake, hoping that one of those times you meant it 

when you said, "I love you."  

It was only when others pulled me out of the thick darkness,

expose me to the light,

that I saw the chains that you had on me.

Now, I have others who really  care for me.

They understand time and space.

They understand boundaries.

They understand what I am going through.

They give as much as they take.

I thought that you were as good as it gets.

I thought that I deserved everything that you did.

But, I am stronger now and I have learned from your lessons.

I no longer shiver when I hear, "I love you."